Midlife Musings: Joints, Joys, and Everything in Between

This morning I woke up with joint pain. Nothing major, just another reminder that my body is shifting into a new phase—one that people like to call perimenopause.

It’s funny how the first signs sneak up on you. For me, it wasn’t hot flashes, mood swings, or anything dramatic. It was sleep—or rather, the loss of it. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get a full night’s rest. Melatonin, weighted blankets, late-night walks, cutting caffeine—none of it worked. I felt like I was going mad, asking anyone who would listen for tips on how they finally got some sleep.

And yet, no one mentioned HRT.

The First Step: Sleep, Glorious Sleep

When I finally talked to my OB-GYN, she explained what hormone replacement therapy could actually help with. I’ll be honest—I was nervous. Like many women, I’d always heard the risks whispered about: higher cancer rates, complications, increased health risks. Hormones were painted as something dangerous.

But after two careful visits, thorough questions, and time to think, I decided to give it a try.

That first night I slept—really slept—it was glorious. Not perfect, not forever, but it was enough to remind me what my body felt like when it wasn’t constantly on edge. That alone felt like a miracle.

Still, sleep wasn’t the only challenge.

When Hot Flashes Meet Boardrooms

My hot flashes weren’t kind enough to wait until bedtime. They liked to show up during the day—especially at the worst possible times.

I’ll never forget one leadership workshop where all the department heads gathered around a table. We were in the middle of a brainstorming session on leadership strategy when one hit me like a tidal wave. Suddenly, my whole body flushed, sweat prickled my scalp, and I felt like I might melt right there in my chair.

Of course, I hadn’t brought my little fan—rookie mistake. So I did the only thing I could: grabbed my notebook and started fanning myself like I was in the middle of July in Arizona. My tablemates gave me worried looks. I just smiled, shrugged, and said, “Guess the conference room’s a little warm today.” We all laughed, but inside, I felt exposed and uncomfortable.

That’s the thing about perimenopause—these changes don’t politely excuse themselves during your workday. They show up whenever they want, right in the middle of your biggest moments.

The Rash That Wouldn’t Quit

Even with HRT, symptoms haven’t disappeared. Sleep is better but not perfect, and then there are the random things—like itchy, rashy skin. Mine shows up mostly on my face and lower back, two places you really don’t want to be scratching in public.

I’ve been to my general practitioner and a dermatologist. I’ve tried creams, medications, and “it’ll clear up eventually” pep talks. Relief comes in waves, but it never fully disappears. It’s something I’ve had to learn to manage rather than solve. And sometimes, that’s the hardest part—accepting that not everything gets fixed neatly.

Goodbye Muscle, Hello Armpit Fat

And then there’s the body changes no one really warns you about. Somewhere along the way, I seemed to lose my butt and muscle tone everywhere else—like my body just quietly redistributed things when I wasn’t looking. Meanwhile, fat decided to settle in the strangest places (yes, even my armpits). It’s disorienting to feel like you’re living in a body you don’t fully recognize anymore.

The one thing that’s saved me from turning into complete mush has been strength training. I’m not lifting heavy like a bodybuilder, but just committing to regular workouts has made a huge difference. It doesn’t erase the changes, but it helps me feel stronger, more grounded, and a little more in control of a body that sometimes feels like it has a mind of its own.

Supplements, Sweet Potatoes, and Sex and the City

Before starting HRT, I tried almost everything. I even thought about that Sex and the City scene where Samantha couldn’t bring her supplements into the UAE and ended up eating sweet potatoes and yams to keep her symptoms at bay. At the time, I laughed. Later, when I was desperate for sleep and clarity, I found myself Googling the same remedies.

The truth was, my symptoms weren’t obvious yet. Without hot flashes or other classic signs, the lack of sleep didn’t immediately scream perimenopause. And the resources out there? Confusing, contradictory, or just plain unhelpful.

That’s one of the most alarming parts of this journey: how little clear, accessible information there is for women. Even many doctors seem unprepared, unless they specialize in women’s health or are actively doing research. Too often, the advice we get is “it’s just stress” or “it’s normal aging.”

But here’s what I’ve learned: women have to advocate for themselves. If something feels wrong, keep asking questions until you get answers. Thankfully, my OB-GYN was thorough and supportive, but I know that’s not the case for everyone.

The Bigger Spark: What’s Next?

Perimenopause isn’t just about symptoms, though. Midlife has a way of shaking you awake. Alongside the aches, rashes, and endless Google searches, there’s also this quiet spark—a nudge that whispers: What’s next?

For me, that spark led to big career changes. I shifted into life sciences, where I could feel like I was making the world better. Later, I moved into renewable energy, another field with purpose. And yet, something inside me still asks: Is this the phase where you finally do it, or just stop talking about it?

I don’t know the answer yet. Maybe you don’t either. But I do know that I’m not the only one asking.

Why I’m Starting This Series

Here’s what I do know: I don’t want this space to only be about the struggles. I want it to be about the joys too. The wins. The small moments where we laugh at ourselves, or share what worked, or just realize we’re not alone.

This post is the start of that conversation. Maybe even the start of a series—Midlife Musings.

We’ll talk about the real stuff: the symptoms, the sparks, the career shifts, the itchy skin (ugh), and the joy of figuring out who we are all over again. Not just the lows, but the lessons. Not just the aches, but the laughter too.

Because if there’s one thing midlife has taught me, it’s that community matters. Sharing our experiences matters. And sometimes, just hearing someone else say, “Me too” is exactly what we need.

Until then, here we go.

P.S. If you’re curious, I’ve started putting together some midlife-inspired products—things that make me smile, or make the days a little cozier. You can check them out here.